"Whoa"...we're going to Hana

First of all, let us please apologize for the lack of a blog yesterday. I would like to say that we were so incredibly busy that we did not have time to indulge you in our pleasure tour, however, the truth is, we drank too many diet rum and cokes and then passed out (around 11pm). We also didn't take any hot and/or sexy photos yesterday. Although we did go snorkeling, and spent the afternoon laying out on the beach in the Maui sun. Even the most dedicated blogger sometimes needs a respite to re-energize and re-group for their witty banter. HELLO this shit ain't easy.

Which brings us to today! Today marked a special occasion for us - we were able to sleep in past the hour of 7:30am!! (I believe we woke up at 7:38). And boy did we have an adventure planned for us. Today was the day for...THE ROAD TO HANA! Let me give you a little background info...the Hana Highway is approximately 40 miles long, and it takes you to the town of Hana. The drive itself, however, is an all-day event, because the road is incredibly windy, narrow, and treacherous. But we're on Maui time...and it's all about the journey, not the destination. We started out in our lovely rental car (aka family fun central), listening to some Jack Johnson and enjoying the lush scenery. Here are your favorite bloggers at one of the many pit stops along the way...
The entire road is basically one u-turn after another; things were going smoothly until we began to encounter ravines, drop-offs, one-lane bridges, and increasingly narrow roads, and mom proceeded to shout "WHOA!" every 2 seconds. Sometimes we even got a "Whoa, WHOOOOOOA!" which was a real treat. The three of us girls were sitting in the back, getting along just fine, and listening to mom get hysterical and ask to stop the car every 20 feet for a photo op. Here is a visual to represent what a "whoa" looks like...

But we all know what happens on long car rides with the family. People get pissy. NOT US, of course...noooo no. We were happy as clams stuck in a taupe Chevy Trailblazer. (Did I neglect to mention I was riding bitch for 6 hours today?) I believe the highlight of the bickering between the parentals occurred when mom said to dad: "stop being so quiet and acting like a passive aggressive asshole." But you have to give dad some credit...he was negotiating hairpin turns and trying to keep the vehicle and its occupants safe, while mom played "tour guide" and gave a little bit of trivia for every friggin milepost we passed. And all I really wanted was some damned locally-made banana bread. Heidi was just thanking her lucky stars that it was not HER parents she had to be annoyed at. At one point, she tried to lighten the mood by tearing out some whale pictures from a pamphlet for dad to place on his dashboard, so he could calm himself and have a zen whale moment. But not to worry...dad finally took his Midol, mom took her hormone replacement pills, we smoked some "pako-lo-lo" in the backseat, and everyone was happy once again. We even encountered some "cattle porn" towards the end of the road. Those Maui cows get a little randy in this hot climate. We also had the pleasure of experiencing some of the worst pit toilets we have ever smelled. I just vomited in my mouth a little bit just thinking about it. But even though we had a few "speed bumps" with everyone getting along on this GREAT 6-hour-drive in hot, humid weather...the scenery really was unbelievable. We were able to drive around the entire perimeter of Mount Haleakala, and experience the more rural side of Maui...

The Hana Highway itself (notice the gravel road)...

The old Hawaiian church where Charles Lindberg is buried...

Just one of the many scenic shorelines you catch a glimpse of along the ride...

All in all, it was a long day in the car, but it was well worth it. Tomorrow, we hope to start the day with some snorkeling, and then take a trip to the town of Lahaina to go shopping and see a fun Hawaiian show. Until the next blog...... ALOHA!